This song has been haunting me to no end lately. Before I get into what I'll say in this entry, to all my subscribers (the 3 of you) I know i haven't blogged in forever, and for that I say, oh well hahaha. I recently read someone's tumblr, and it made me want to write again. I have this ever present need for people to hear my work, although i dont think ive really accomplished anything yet. Its as im stuck in the in-between, waiting for my future to come hurtling toward me, without taking the first step out. I did however make the final decision to go for film school, and let me tell you, i felt as though someone had sucked all the air out of my lungs, as well as the entire room. To actively pursue your larger than life, whispered aspirations in the dark of the night dreams is arguably the scariest thing i will ever do. It scares me to the point of near defeat, but then that very line of utter fear drives me forward. Its a very delicate balance. the eternal optimist in me pushes forward, striving to be one of the 15 that are accepted each year. I guess what i want is to be remembered, like all writers want. Even though i want to direct, I think i still consider myself a write first. For without a story, you cannot have a film. I want greatness and to have my works mean something, to change people, and move them. Sometimes i wonder if thats a selfish goal, but i know that the money is not what im in it for, i just simply want to be able to afford a house. however my future plays out, i know that i will continue to dream for uniqueness and greatness. For that i am grateful. I cant say if ill blog again, for its a strange, yet sometimes addicting habit. for know ill hope that you at least enjoyed this post, if you read it at all.

1 Comment

1. Courtney on December 24, 2010 at 12:24 AM

   of course i read it!